Finding the Joy We Can, Opening to New Sources of Joy

Welcome!  I am Michelle Paquette, and my pronouns are She/Her/Hers.

The whole world seems to be afire with tensions and strife.  TV, the Web, and my E-mail box are full of conflicting things demanding my urgent attention.  How can I juggle so many different things and find my own path? How can I find joy in the middle of all this?

Joy.  It’s something I would like to find.  Now, happiness is an emotion that brings bursts of intense pleasure, excitement, and satisfaction, but joyfulness…. Ah!  That’s a stronger, longer-term state that results in feelings of inner peace and contentment.

I’ve experienced many moments of happiness in my life, but relatively few moments of joy.  I spent too much time distracted, the “squirrels” in my mind restless, driving me to constantly worry about what might be, what might have been, all that two-in-the-morning sleepless night stuff.

I really did think that joy was something talked about, but not experienced.  Then I learned better.  I was so busy fretting over things that I missed the moments of joy in life, skipped right over them while I kept asking myself “What next?” as my mind spun in little circles.

Well, I discovered that asking “What next?” over and over quickly reaches the point where the answer is “I just don’t know.” Circling back and repeating this over and over really doesn’t accomplish anything useful! Silly squirrels!

“Whereas happiness can be easily manufactured, joy comes through setting up the right conditions for it to suddenly appear," says Forrest Talley, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in California. "Happiness can be brought about by a good cup of coffee in the morning or a funny movie. Joy, on the other hand, is more difficult to cultivate." 

The cultivation of joy is an ongoing process that takes time.  I had to develop some new habits, new practices, so I wouldn’t miss the joy I encounter on my journey through life.

Joy really isn’t in achieving some distant goal.  Oh, that may bring well-earned happiness, but we soon adjust, make this goal our new normal, and will find ourselves creating some new distant goal to be unhappy over not attaining at once.  This behavior of reaching, adjusting to, and seeking a new goal even has a name, the “hedonic treadmill.”  That doesn’t sound very joyous, does it?

Those goals provide us with a sense of achievement, a feeling of certainty when we can reach them.  But between these goals, we spend far more time on the journey.  

“I got so focused on the difficulty of the climb that I lost sight of being grateful for simply having a mountain to climb.”

 — Oprah Winfrey

I’ve learned some things in my search for joy that I’d like to share.

We can find joy every day, as part of our journey, if we only take a little time to notice it.  When we set up the right conditions, we can notice joy, and we can embrace and extend these bits of inner peace and contentment as they arise.

Mindfulness practice, a way to settle the mind, calm ourselves, and focus on the present, where we are.  The “squirrels” running around in our minds often distract us from the present, overwhelm us, and lead us to miss moments of joy.  Taking a few minutes to calm ourselves, just breathe, and focus on the act of breathing, letting go of the “squirrels” and simply being aware of ourselves, our breath in our body, and nothing more can be very calming.  Consider joining our Friday 10 AM meditation, or our Vespers service Wednesdays at 6:30.

If we don’t mind the triteness of it, a gratitude diary might help.  At the end of each day, we just jot down a few things that we are grateful for, or that brought us joy, perhaps a few places or activities where we felt calm or at peace.  This both encourages us to notice these moments, and can give us ideas of other, similar experiences we might deliberately incorporate in our lives.

It’s a wonderful thing, finding these moments of calm, noticing that which brings us joy and taking a moment to embrace it.  Let’s open ourselves to discovering and embracing a little joy this morning, as we worship together.

Rainbow Community Center Call In This Time of Distress

Recorded for a message from Rainbow Community Center reaching out to our community, to all Queer People of Color feeling the distress and pain in this time.

Each of us has worth and dignity.  Each of us deserves to be treated well, fairly, with our humanity recognized.  Yet, we know this is not the case.  Far too often, those holding authority forget that Black Lives Matter.

We see you.  We see your worth and dignity, your humanity.  We at Rainbow Community Center seek to do what we can, from where we can.  Building power takes many shapes.  Thank you for joining us.

"MAKE IT SO SOCIAL"

A portion of the proceeds will benefit Rainbow Community Center 

Sat, June 16^th - 7-9:15 p.m. in Bortin Hall

“Elena Undone”

A passionate romance between a pastor’s wife and a lesbian writer

REGISTER HERE!

 No one turned away for lack of funds—ask for assistance at the door

SUGGESTED DONATION:

$10=15 raffle tickets | $15=20 raffle tickets | $20=30 raffle tickets

Awesome raffle prizes - $25 & $50 GIFT CARDS + more

ALL ADULTS ARE WELCOME!

Presented by LGBTQ & FRIENDS Social Justice Committee in support of MDUUC’s Make It So: 2020 goals

Concord Pride on June 2!

Concord Pride is happening Saturday, June 2 from 3PM to 9PM in Todos Santos Square.  Join the Rainbow Community Center for a celebration of families, community, and YOU! This is the day to honor all who support and embrace diversity, love, and pride!

Festivities include crafts, beverages, and fun for the whole family!

The LGBTQ & FRIENDS Social Justice Committee will be responsible for two persons being at the MDUUC booth at all times. The idea is that we will take shifts so that no one has to be at the booth at all times.  Please sign up with our committee chairperson!

Transgender Day of Visibility

Walnut Creek Civic Park, Hosted by Rainbow Community Center and the Interfaith Council of Contra Costa County

A number of speakers and representatives of the transgender community, support organizations, and welcoming and accepting faith based groups spoke at the Walnut Creek Transgender Day of Visibility.  The MDUUC LGBTQ & FRIENDS committee was represented as well, and passed out TRANS PRIDE bracelets.  

The MDUUC Congregation had written supporting notes for the transgender community during services for the previous Sunday, and these were strung together and hung about the gazebo, along with Trans Pride flags and balloons.

Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) is a day to show your support for the trans community! Every March 31st, it aims to bring attention to the accomplishments of trans people everywhere while fighting cissexism and transphobia by spreading understanding of trans people. Unlike Transgender Day of Remembrance, this is not a day for mourning: this is a day to be empowered and give the recognition trans folks deserve! Visibility is not about being seen as an individual: it’s working together to transform society.

Rachel Crandall, the head of Transgender Michigan, created in TDOV in 2009 to celebrate the trans community in a positive light. Read more about it here. Since 2013, Trans Student Educational Resources has taken over most social media, promotion, and outreach for TDOV.

This year’s theme is “surviving, thriving” (#TransThriving). This acknowledges the number of major transgender achievements in the past 12 months. We are not only surviving the current administration, but we are making strides to transform how people think about gender around the world. In the increasingly transphobic global political climate, we must use our newfound visibility to mobilize trans people against oppression. Speaking out, taking direct action, and educating others is critical to our safety and wellbeing. This recognizes that while visibility is important, we must take action against transphobia. Visibility is not enough alone to bring transgender liberation. However, we can use visibility as a vital tool for transgender justice.

Make It So Social Dinner & Dance Event

The “MAKE IT SO SOCIAL” dinner & dance was well received by all. Everyone loved the food, music, percussion instruments, dance instruction, and the friendly people attending. It was a fun and friendly crowd!

As you can see….it takes a village!!!  Our gratitude and appreciation for all who helped toward our goal to Make It So: 2020:

DJ: Kaleo Ching

Drumming/Percussion: Mary Ferrick

Dance Instruction: Terese & Kevin McGregor

Cooks: Melissa Allen, Michelle Paquette

Food Displayed: Peggy Kern Payne

Flower Deco for tables : Suzanne Lofquist (flower arrangement), Nancy (setup)

Bead Deco for Tables: Claudia Lorie, Peggy Kern Payne

Greeters: Natalie Malter, Rev. Neal Anderson

Registration: Claudia Lorie, Elsie Miller, Trudy Foote

Mount Banners/SJ Table Setup:  Peggy Kern Payne, Elsie Mills

Cleanup Crew: Melissa Allen, Michelle Paquette, Peggy Kern Payne, Claudia Lorie, Elsie Mills, Nancy Newhart, Natalie Malter and many of our wonderful guests helped stack chairs

Tablecloth Laundry: Elsie Mills, Claudia Lorie

Organization/Advertising/Event Signage: Nancy Newhart

We had roughly 75 attendees out of 87 signups, including walk-ins. 45 were visitors, 18 members, 12 helpers (who were busy working most of the time vs socializing). We would like to see more members per visitor with the goal to have visitors return seeing more familiar faces.

Here is a recap of MAKE IT SO SOCIAL from our Saturday, Dec 2, 2017 event.

LGBTQ & FRIEND’S first contribution to Make It So 2020 surpassed the original projections of 48 attendees:

• 56 in attendance (25 signed up on Eventbrite with credit card…guaranteed money upfront!)
• 29 MDUUC
• 27 Potential Members

Kudos to the “village” workers:

• Cynthia Krieger for setting up Eventbrite account & providing collection of the money, graphics for the flyers, 4x5 handout files and 11x17 standup sign for Welcome table.
• Michelle Paquette for all the food shopping/cooking for chicken, hummus, gluten-free chips, yummy & beautiful looking sherbet punch and fruit water (stunningly beautiful, like an art piece in the room!)
• Peggy Kern Payne for assisting Michelle lifting food out of the car and into the ovens, providing limes to add to fruit water and for covering the tables in the rainbow covers, installing MDUUC banner on game table.
• Laura Zucker for choosing sound tracks & monitoring music needs, welcoming guests and donating her latest CD set for the raffle
• Elsie Mills, Kate Newkirk, Trudy Foote and Lianne Davis at registration table taking money and giving out raffle tickets! 
• Michelle Paquette, Elsie Mills, Peggy Kern Payne, Lianne Davis for kitchen clean-up
• Mary Ferrick & Peggy Kern Payne and visitors who helped Nancy with stacking chairs and rolling game tables to back wall
• Marena McGregor & Indigo Lewis for making arrangements for childcare, so Rainbow parents could attend 
• Rev. Neal and Kate Newkirk as engaged members at game tables from Leadership Team
• Rev. Leslie for stopping by to say hello, despite a dislocated thumb! OUCH!
• Nancy marketed to various LGBTQ friendly organizations, printed flyers & 4x5 handouts; handled Eventbrite & Meetup attendee management; room layout/coordination with facilities; game table order/delivery/placement/pickup; registration sheets; mailing list signup sheets; raffle tickets in (6) & (10) strips; (3) “Donation/Raffle info” plexi-glass signs on registration table; set up  (2) 42” side tables with name tags, raffle tickets, raffle buckets, game labels, MDUUC business cards & “What Do Unitarian Universalists Believe? cards; hand letter Beverages/Dessert/Non-Allergy Food signs; set out allergy food flags; purchased all logistic supplies & raffle prizes; last minute 4pm ice and cash run for $200 in $5’s for change (almost forgot that last one!). Now, when I do this again, I don’t have to think on my feet….I have a list!
• Special thanks to Elsie for fast thinking to show off the raffle prizes at the raffle bowl table in Bortin Hallway near the registration desk (who knew? I thought they were supposed to be a surprise!)